Leaving Las Vegas

Monday night, around 9
Less than a week left in Vegas

Hello,

Thanks for checking out my blog. It would be cool if we were together right now, sitting in front of my Dell monitor. I'd watch your lips move as you read these words. Then I'd watch you blush. Then I'd watch you concentrate on reading without "lipping." Then we'd both laugh, and I'd offer to get you a drink as an excuse to leave while you continue to read.

Chanel and the girls are at Disneyland right now, buying shirts and getting ready for the 3+ hour drive home. She went with Kathy, the MIL.

Crazy but I believe this time... I'm listening to the songs I used to produce Lauren's birth CD. Foo Fighters. I'll randomly insert lyrics in this blog. Just lucky we're alive.

At this time next week we'll be in Castle Rock, Colorado. This blog will soon be a historic e-document. But right now it's me and it's real and it's now. I'm scared. I hope we're making the right choice, man. I'm missing the family, the parents and brothers. Have you ever moved away? If so, how was it? How did you deal with the mixed feelings that flooded your mind and heart? Let me know. Shoot me an e-mail and I'll post it.

I wanted more than I could ever...

My angel wings, are bruised...

Here's what's on my mind's stove right now:

Book: Rough Stone Rolling, the Joseph Smith biography
Music: Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters, the first Weezer album, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir
Movies: None, really. I hope to gain enough courage to watch King Kong. I recently had a nightmare in which KK was following me through an unknown town.

As always, I'm loving my wife and kids. I miss them. The emptiness this house has without them is almost overwhelming. I just want to go to bed

And in time I've realized it's now wrapped around my neck.

The rusted signs we ignore throughout our lives, choosing the shiny ones instead.

I really can't believe I'm leaving Las Vegas. This is my town. It's who I am, whether or not I want it to be.

I want to live, I want to give. I've been a miner for a heart of gold.

I wonder what life's going to be like in CO. Lately I've been "getting old." Hopefully the move will bring out the Ryan I remember and miss. Take care, and check back often.

Dear sir or madam will you read my book it took me years to write will you take a look?